Thursday, August 19, 2010

Do You Have Value?

I'm asking about your personal opinion about yourself.  Don't answer this according to how you believe others would answer the question about you.  Be honest.  How is your self esteem?

Which one of the following statements best describe you?
  1. I can go out and conquer anything I decide I want to do!
  2. I don't think anyone would really miss me if I were gone.
  3. I know I have some value, but I don't know who would benefit from me.
  4. I would be a valuable asset as a team member, maybe not the leader, but a contributor.
If you answered #1, that's great.  You believe in yourself and you have the confidence to take on anything.  My only encouragement would be, is never be so confident that you become unteachable.  We don't know everything and we can always learn something knew.  If others see you as obnoxious or arrogant, maybe you should tone down your attitude and approach.  Appearing to be arrogant can be a huge deterrent to your success.

If your answer was #2, then we have a lot of work to do to build up your self esteem.  You must learn to respect yourself.  Because of that, you probably don't take many chances.  You don't step out of your comfort zone, and you are only comfortable around your family and very close friends.  If you are not comfortable around your family, then search to understand the underlying problem.  Be honest with yourself and if there is an abusive situation, then be brave enough to contact someone that can help you approach the abuser and begin to enjoy life.  No one should have to suffer abuse from a spouse or partner.  I'm not here to give marital relationship advice, but abuse is not right in any personal relationshp.

If you answered #3, then you have some work to do to build your confidence and to acknowledge that you do provide great value in relationships and certain social environments.  Be proud of the your strengths and understand that your contributions are needed.  It's always nice to feel needed and wanted by others. 

#4 is a good place to be.  If you only want to be a team member and not the leader, there is nothing wrong with that.  A team always needs players who contribute, but are willing to let others lead them.  You may grow into a leader role, but if you don't, there's no shame in that.

When others compliment you or your actions, accept that praise and understand that they appreciate your added value.  Celebrate the small things in life!  Don't minimize the role that you play in the life of others.

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